The Corrupted Story of Animal Crossing
by Fasie
Summary: A corrupted story... is funny and weird so read it
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Animal Crossing

Elry is a troubled young man living is Nonnol. He struggles with minutely urges- if you get what I mean.

His best friend Zeer, is a drunk, gambling, thief who doesn't know the definition of 'sober'.

Rohan, Elry's girlfriend, is by far the most normal. She enjoys being with her boyfriend, cooking, and of course, cleaning up after Elry.

One of my characters, Ben, is Santa's evil helper. In her town, it is Christmas every day. She and three elves, who you'll meet later, hunt down Jingle and give the presents to Santa. The purpose of that is unknown right now…

Now let's begin!

Elry woke up and reached for his Mario statue. Oh, how he loved that thing. Day in and day out, Mario was there for him. He never went to Nintendo-Land to meet him in person, because once he saw the real Mario, he would have been arrested for " The Sexual Harassment Of Video Game Characters That Only Exist When A Nerd Dresses Up In A Costume And Gets Paid For It Act"- or the SHOVGCTOEWANDUIACAGPFI Act. He didn't like his Luigi statue though, it gave him nightmares. So he kept in a locked up closet.

He ran outside and saw a notice on the notice board. It read:

Dear Elry,

Zeer and I have gone out of town for a, uh… meeting. That's it a meeting! We went for a meeting and wont be back until the story is done. We will write! Bye!

Elry sighed "O well, as long as Mario is still here. " He looked over to his Mario statue that was chained up like a dog, and smiled at it

He then went down to Fang's house. Well, where his how _used_ to be, anyway. He liked the way his teeth were all shiny. But once Fang tried to eat him and scarred Elry's feelings so badly, that he remembered that he didn't like Fang anymore.(and fang had moved)

-FLASHBACK-

Fang waved to Elry and shouted " Hey, Elry!"

Elry noticed fang gardening and ran over to him. " Hey, Fang. Whatcha up to?"

Fang shuffled his feet around and his eyes darted around. " Oh, nothing. Say, I got a tooth ache, will you take a look at it?"

Elry, oblivious to the up coming danger, over excitedly yelled out " Sure!"

Fang, still looking nervous, jumped onto Elry before he even moved. " Blood! Blood! Give it to me!" His eyes started twitching.

" Hey, hum, Fang? Could you not be so ruff? I am a little sore in that area still from last night."

Fang runs off because he doesn't _want_ to remember last night. " That's OK! I don't want blood that badly! By the way, you can keep the sex toy, I don't need it!

-Back To The Present-

Elry's feelings had been hurt. He loved Fang so much. He was also sad that Fang had just moved to Zaydo. ( Zaydo is Ben's town) So he decided against going to see Fang.

Elry walked around Nonnol hoping to find something of interest. Sure, there was the Faraway Museum and Nookingtons and the Senior Strip Club. But Elry didn't seem to care about any of these things. All he wanted to do was go and play if you get my drift with Mario.

He returned to his house with a surprise.

" HOW DARE YOU!" he screamed at Mario, who was trying to unlock the locked closet.

" But I justa wanteda to see my brothera!" Mario said, in a cheesy Italian accent.

" No, you just wanted to get your brother and run away from me and Maxi-million ! again, if you get my drift"

" NO! I WANT TO SEE HIM! You have had him locked up in here since the day we immigrated here, and you turned me into your personal sex-slave! How dare you judge us like that! Judging people by the color of their skin. Judging books by their cover. Judging _US _by the color of our hats!" He lost his accent, which was fake, and started to cry.

Elry shifted and started speaking in a speechy voice " Mario, its not your hat, its not what is on the outside, its what's in your video game pants. That's all. Luigi over there is small, and lifeless, and give me nightmares…."

Mario nodded approvingly. He banged on the closet door to get his brother's attention. "See bro! I told you smarts didn't matter, and its not in your head. Its in your pants!"

Luigi said in a coarse, also cheesy accent, " Ima not awearing anya pantas! Elry tooka thema!"

Mario turned and looked at Elry.

Elry coughed. " Um, Mario. I can explain." He fidgeted " Its just that I look so damn hot in these things!" Elry whistled and smacked his butt " By the way, how'd you get out of your chains?"

" Oh, Sir Gulabethary 4th let me out."

" SHIT!" Elry ran outside to the side of his house where his gyroid sat every day. " Gary! Gary! Where are you?"

Sir Gulabethary came out from behind a tree holding a knife. "Hey, hey, hey. Why, its Elry. How nice to see you." Sir Gulabethary took a couple steps forward so he was nose to nose with Elry. He held up the knife to Elry's throat as he grabbed his shirt collar.

" Uhm Gary? That hurts, please stop." Elry whimpered.

" OH, so _YOU_ want me to stop, huh? You think I can't move from that spot over there? I can and if you call me Gary once more, I will kill you. Kill you in cold blood. My full name is Sir Gulabethary Tonas Rung Geyony Ferric 4th. Got that?"

Elry nodded, but, somehow, didn't really understand. " Gary, you're scaring me."

" What did I tell you fool? I said I would Kill you! KILL!" Sir Gulabethary poked the knife into Elry's throat a litte bit.

Elry, still not understanding, decided to play along. " I am sorry Sir Gulabethary, I won't call you Gary again." He lied.

Sir Gulabethary nodded and let Elry's shirt go. He put away his knife and smiled sweetly then said, "That's all I wanted. Please, continue on, and save." He walked over to his spot beside the house and sent Elry into a house with a light and a town member. He was secretly planning to frame Elry and get him arrested for the SHOVGCTOEWANDUIACAGPFI Act.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Animal Crossing

I am sorry but, Ben is not appearing in this chapter.

Elry is gonna get into some trouble this chapter… You will meet Lyle, his fish, and not any ordinary police dog, its SUPER COPPER! triumphant music

Elry also gets to go to Nintendo Land, the 236,295,385th happiest place on earth.

LETS START! stands tall with a superman sign on shirt, more triumphant music

Elry got up out of bed cautiously. He knew something fishy was going on. Especially since 4 feet of his house was under water and his goldfish, Lyle, was swimming around.

" OMG LYLE! What are you doing!" Elry screamed. He didn't like his house being under water, let alone his goldfish swimming around by Mario. " GET AWAY FROM MY SEX STATUE! AND STOP TRYING TO GO INTO HIS GROIN, ITS NOT YOUR CERAMIC CASTLE!" He jumped into the water and swam after Lyle.

" Blease, bon't burt be!" Lyle blubbed. " Bli bust banted bo bave ba bew bastle! ( translation: Please don't hurt ,me. I just wanted a new castle.)

" If you wanted a new castle why didn't you say so?" Elry was happy that he wasn't purposely trying to steal Mario. Just then Mario's groin opened and sucked Lyle in. " MARIO! YOU LITTLE CHEATING beep HOW DARE YOU TAKE A FREAKING FISH INSTEAD OF ME!"

" Belp be! Belp, bomebody, blease belp!" Lye said sarcastically. " Bli bam brapped. Belp." ( translation: Help me! Help, somebody, please help. I am trapped. Help.) Lyle went out Mario's "back door" and outside into his bowl.

Sir Gulabethary smiled. " Good, good. Is the deed done?"

" Bles, bla beed bis bone! Bere's by bwenty bells?" He stretched out his fin, wanting what he was promised. " Bive bit bo be, bor bi buit!" ( translation: Yes, the deed is done! Where's my twenty bells? Give it to me, or I quit!)

" All in good time, Lyle. All in good time." He flung 20 bells into Lyle's bowl and sneered. " When he's in jail, there's gonna be more where that came from."

Sir Gulabethary pushed a button and the fake Mario statue in Elry's house disappeared. The water drained, and everything was wet. Lyle was put back into the house and the real Mario came out of the bathroom. " Whata did Iya miss?" He rubbed a towel on his golden body to get it dry. " Really! Whata did Iya miss? I wasa in the shower!"

Elry's eyes brightened. " MARIO! I thought you wanted to be with that, fish." He scoffed and nodded his head towards Lyle. " But I am glad you still love me!" He ran to Mario and hugged him.

" Uma, Sure?" Mario hugged Elry, but had no idea what had happened.

Sir Gulabethary smiled. His plan was working. He watched through the window as Elry hugged Mario, and then as he ran over to Lyle's bowl.

" HOW COULD YOU DO THAT!" Elry screamed at the fish. " YOU KNOW I LOVE HIM AND NOBODY ELSE CAN LOVE HIM! HE'S MINE, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?" Elry's eye twitched, he was going nuts.

Lyle bubble. " Blub. Blubble bubble, blub. Blub, blub, blubble blub blub. ." ( classic fish talk translation: I am a fish, I can't talk, unless twenty bells is involved….)

Elry ran outside. He didn't know what was going on. He felt twitchy, he could have sworn Lyle had talked.

" Good day young citizen! How can SUPER OFFICER COPPER help you?" He puffed out his chest like superman, when he said 'super officer copper','Saving the day' music came on in the background. He sniffed. " My dear child, you have drugs in your pocket!"

Elry shrugged. " Wouldn't doubt it." He twitched.

Copper sniffed again, this time getting closer to Elry. " My dear child, its meth!"

Elry shrugged again. " Wouldn't doubt it." He was in shock of the drugs. His irritability was used in the house when he yelled at Lyle. All he could do is stare, twitch, shrug, and remember few words.

Copper grabbed him by the arm. " Sir, we are gonna take you down to the station. It looks like you need to be cleaned…" He started walking to the station. " Meth users, they are gonna end the world." He muttered.

They got to the station. Booker sighed and put down his cigar. " Another druggie?" He walked over to Elry and reached in his pocket and grabbed the drugs. There was a fancy script G on the front of the bag. "Sir Gulabethary is at it again, huh. I thought we cleaned him out. We'll have to go get him back on Clean Street. "

Copper shifted. The Super Hero music died and sad-flashback music came on. " There was a time when he was the one to clean people up, now we have to clean him." All the music stopped " Oh well we can do it later when Elry goes to Nintendo Land!" He shoved Elry into a 'jail cell', which was actually a cardboard box. Elry thought it was metal.

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OK, I don't really want to tell you how Elry talked the police dogs into letting him out of jail. I can tell you this: Meth was given to the dogs, Elry pole danced, 2 oranges were involved, and the rest is pretty, graphic…….

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Back to the story, shall we?

Elry walked back to his house. Two tickets were lying on the ground. At first he thought they were Nook's raffle tickets. He continued walking, something drew him back to the tickets. " OMG OMG OMG! NINTENDO LAND TICKETS! Wait, there's three….Rohan and Zeer aren't here, who could I take? Ga- I mean Sir Gulabethary! Lyle! You wanna come to Nintendo Land with me?" Elry yelled, and completely forgot about the evilness of the two.

Sir Gulabethary smile. " Yes, I will come to this place you call " Nintendo Land" the 236,295,385th happiest place on earth."

Lyle smiled the best he could, after all, he was a fish. " BLAY! Bli blet bo blo bo Bintendo Bland!" (translation: Yay! I get to go to Nintendo Land!)

Elry looked at the tickets again. 'Airplane leaves from the train station right now' , they said. " COME ON EVERY ONE! WE HAVE TO LEAVE!" He grabbed Sir Gulabethary and Lyle and ran to the train station. He pushed that monkey out of the way and jumped on the plane. To Nintendo land, he thought.

Sir Gulabethary smiled. Yes, to Nintendo Land.

Lyle munched on a fish flake.

Mario sat in Elry's basement and was very excited. "BROTHERA! The evila one has gone to the place he calls. " Nintendo Land, the 236,295,385th happiest place on earth."

Luigi sighed. " I like it in this box. I have made friends with the mold growing in the corner. And if you don't mind, I am in the middle of the tea party!"

Mario sat in the shower and bathed in his tears. My brother doesn't love me anymore, he thought. I wish somebody, besides Elry, loved me.

" Hey, Lyle!"

Lyle looked at Sir Gulabethary . " Blat bo blou bant!" ( translation: What do you want!)

" Elry is asleep. We must execute plan Q. We are above Nintendo Land now, the plane lands 4 hours away from here. We must jump." Sir Gulabethary grabbed Lyle and Elry and jumped out of the window.

THUD

Elry had woken up halfway down, so he was awake when he landed. Sir Gulabethary, who was holding Lyle and his bowl, landed on his feet. " Ow, that hurt." Elry complained. " Luckily this 6 year old broke my fall. Otherwise I would have broken all of my bones."

The kid twitched. " Mommy, I see the light. I see the li- " The six year old's mom smacked the flashlight that Elry was holding out of his hands.

Lyle blubbed. " Robert! My son! I have missed you! I mean…Blobert! Bly bon! Bli bave blised blou!"

A random kid walking by, whose name happened to be Robert also, looked at the fish and spit in his bowl.

Robert blinked and turned to his mom. " YOU SAID HE DIED IN JAIL FOR VIALATING THE SHOVGCTOEWANDUIACAGPFI ACT!"

Elry looked at Robert. " I was, but I got out of that jail. I am a mastermind! I can tell you that involved 4 oranges, 2 bananas , and a large chunk of ice."

Penelope took a knife out of her pocket and jabbed Robert in the stomach and then herself. "Good bye cruel world, I will always hate you"

Lyle, Sir Gulabethary, and Elry walked around, completely forgetting what had just happened. " So, Elry, what do you want to do?" He grinned.

" I kind of want to ride that ride." He pointed to a sign that said. " Blue and Yellow, Purple Pills" The P was crossed out and a hand-written H was written above it.

They walked over to the stand where a really stoned hobo sat. " Hurgh sheet ighn furtgh asire skjfi djkjf tueywt djksl foiuier slrtre a;slfmd djkjf. "

Lyle listened to what the stoner was saying. Only once was he so stoned he talked like that. He translated it in his head. 'Step through the gate and press; Sniff, swallow, or inject. Most prefer sniff.' Man whatever this guy has, I gotta get me some, he blubbed to himself.

Sir Gulabethary knew this would be fun.

Elry stared in amazement at the shiny beer can that was lying on the ground.

Stay tuned for what will happen in Nintendo Land! Thanks for reading. Please review, you will make me so happy and I promise I won't torture you with the next chapter if you do review.

( If you don't mind, I am in the making of a Corpse Bride story. It's going to be based off of a role play me and 2 friends do. Read it, if you feel like it…..You better feel like it. evil laughter)


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Animal Crossing.

I know that last chapter's end was odd, but I was hyper...Anyway, this is the start of Nintendo Land! Blue, and Yellow, Purple Pi- _Hills_.

" Come on you dope head! Stop staring at the beer can and lets go!" Sir Gulabethary snapped. Patience, he thought, all in good time. Put up with his 2 year old in a 17 year old's mind and he soon will be dead, and I soon will be happy.

The hobo (his name will be Simon) looked up from the beer can. " Guta skjie dfsK jdkjfei iens iethsk tiegt!" ( translation: " The price is a packet of dope, or coke, or whatever you have in your pocket.)

Sir Gulabethary grabbed a pack of drugs with a script G on the front and threw it at the hobo. " Come on you!" He grabbed Elry's rainbow shirt and dragged him into the tunnel that would lead to the beginning of their ride.

" Wow! This isn't what I expected!" Elry stared at the midgets repainting cardboard hills. He nudged Sir Gulabethary " Hey, maybe they will sing to us like the Oompa Loompa's from that horrible movie that no one watches!" He spoke of Willy Wanka, but thought of The Wizard of Oz.

Sir Gulabethary set Lyle's bowl down and walked over to one of the little people and gave him a small packet with a script G on it. "Sing, Dance. Do whatever. Just act like you're trying to entertain a 2 year old." He nodded towards Elry, indicating he was the 2 year old. He walked back over to Elry and Lyle.

The dim lights dimmed even more. A spotlight came into the center of the room they were in. The Nintendo 'N' logo appeared in the spotlight. Yoshi popped out.

In a deep, crackly voice he belted out. " Uhm, We represent that doped- up hobo! That doped-up hobo. That doped- up hobo. We represent that doped-up hoboooooo! And we demand a raise!"

All the Nintendo characters ran for the exit. When they left all you could hear was Simon the hobo screaming and Yoshi yelling about his cousin's husband and his homosexual self and how he needed more money.

Sir Gulabethary picked up Lyle and kicked Elry. " Walk!" He went towards the exit.

When they got outside, they were surprised. Blue and yellow, purple hills adorned the horizon. " Its beautiful!" Elry stared in amazement. " Sir Gulabethary, can we eat them?" He jumped onto a blue hill and started chewing.

"Stop that!" Sir Gulabethary pulled Elry off the hill and threw him onto the ground. " Stupid nincompoop." He walked to what looked like Nonnol's train station. " Hmm. Interesting. Lyle what do you think?" He pointed to a map. An identical map to the one back in Nonnol. The only difference was that there was an extra acre. N-7.

Lyle looked up from his bowl and put on Harry Potter glasses. " Ehh, it looks like its been crossed out." he rubbed his chin with a magical wand that somehow got into his bowl. " maybe that's the secret door that says " DO NOT ENTER!".

Elry started to sob. " Lyle! I thought bou balked bike bis!" ( you talked like this) What happened?"

Lyle glared at Sir Gulabethary, then returned his gaze to Elry. " He stopped paying me." He then simply went back to examining television map.

Sir Gulabethary , completely oblivious to Lyle's complaint, had taken a look at the scenery. " Intriguing. We're back in Nonnol." He picked up Lyle, kicked Elry, and ran to their house.

" Eh, Stupid Elry. Doesn't know how to check mail. Didn't tell me he was leaving for half a chapter." Pete, the mail-pelican, was shoving letters into Elry's mail box. Sir Gulabethary sat in his spot by the corner. Lyle some how got inside, leaving Elry outside, all alone, with _Pete_.

Pete gave up on shoving the letters into the mail box and turned around to leave and saw Elry. He pointed and gave and evil grin and ran off.

The evil monkey from Family Guy was harassing Chris noticed this and broke down. " HE STOLE MY TRADEMARK POINT AND GRIN!" he held his head in his hands.

" Don't worry dude, he didn't really steal your trademark. Its just a part of a story that a weird insane person is writing." Chris leaned close to the evil monkey. "She's trying to make it funny." They ran back to the set of Family Guy.

Elry thought this was just a hallucination. He'd gotten used to them by now. " That was weird." Elry walked to the overflowing mailbox and looked at some of the letters. " Nook sex letter, mhhm. HRA. _Overly _Happy Room Academy I'd say. Ooh! Rohan and Zeer sent me a letter!"

Dear Elry.

Zeer and I just had a baby! Don't worry, we named him after you. Elry. Elry Jr. Elry, I promise, when we get back, you and I can have a baby.

Love,

Rohan, Zeer, Elry Jr. spittle

Elry walked into his house. " I may have the intelligence of a 2 year old, but something's not right." Roaches overwhelmed the area. Mario and Luigi were doing it on the couch. And…and the calendar. It said ' Feb. 17 th.' ' According to the calendar, which is always right, we left 3 months ago. How long were we in Nintendo Land? Did Christmas already pass?"

Ben heard the word ' Christmas' and looked up to see Elry. She put down the chicken wing she was eating and explained that Christmas already pass. "So you see, I have to stay here until you bug the crap out of me until I give you a present. Change outfits, then bug me again."

Elry was confused, as usual. " Shouldn't Jingle be the one for that?"

Ben paused. " Well, uh, yes. But he was involved in a hate crime against light nosed reindeer…." It was obvious that she didn't want to talk about it.

Elry bugged the crap out of Ben until he got presents. He chewed Mario out for doing it with Luigi and not a picture of him while he was gone.

Then Elry went bed. This chapter of his life was very tiring. Although he spent a few hours in Nintendo Land, what seemed like anyway, he felt as if he hadn't slept or eaten in 3 months.

Maybe next chapter will bring the answers to the secret door connecting Nintendo Land and Nonnol.. Maybe, just maybe.

Thanks for reading! Please review. Hope it was funny and you were at least able to stay awake through most of it.…runs off like maniac


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